Dellava - Diet, Fitness and Weight Loss Community at eDiets

Dellava - Diet, Fitness and Weight Loss Community at eDiets: I'm starting a new adventure today. I have been trying to get myself back on a healthy eating plan to get my weight and blood glucose readings back in order. It hasn't been working. Every since my son's death on July 5, I have not cooked a complete meal at home. I don't know how to cook for 1 unless it's my eDiet meal plan.

A few years back, I belonged to eDiets and joined the "Life Odessey" group. The challenge of that group was just what I needed. I lost 35 lbs. in 2 months and reduced clothing size, even down to the underwear. Well, I started having more physical problems (gout, shingles, pneumonia, etc.) and jumped ship.

I didn't stay on any plan and have gained all but 4 lb. of my 35 back. I have been very inactive and my Hemoglobin A1C has been bouncing up, down, and uo to my current high of 10.7.

So, earlier tonight(actually last night since it's now 5:30 am of the morning after I started this.) I went to eDiets again, signed up for a full year, and printed out my first week meal plans and shopping list.

I have to find a community, group, or at least some friends to keep me challenged and accountable. Life Odessey group is private now, so guess I'm OL on LO.

Guess this is turning into a monthly blog; but since months fly by at about one per week, I guess that's a speed I can maintain.

I've been thinking about seasons and renewal. Now if we go to meteorological seasons ( or astrological if that's your slant), we're currently trapped in winter. We're having a lot of snow this winter of 2010. I'll take all the blame for that. It's totally my fault. I've been begging, praying, dreaming, and wishing for snow for years. We've been cheated out of a really good snowfall for a long time. I wanted to romp in the snow, slide down the hill, plop down and make snow angels.

The problem is, it took so long for the snow to get here I've allowed myself to get out of shape and I can't play in it.

So I make attempts to get in shape. I order new workout videos.; print out oodles of diabetic friendly recipes with the knowledge that a new season is coming. Spring- with a different set of challenges that I want to rise to meet.

Seasons are about change and renewal; new starts over and over. Trees will take on that lovely tender green of new leaves; a green that will deeper, grow more substantial at just the right time. We'll need their shade as the Earth moves into position so that the Sun sends her rays at us more directly. Later, the tree's life cycle will cause the chemicals to create the beautiful colors just before they fall again so that the weaker Sun's rays will be able to get through the bare limbs. We, too, come alive in the spring, ooze hesitantly out of our houses, strengthen as the days grow longer.

Seasons can make us better at being who we are. As we determine to rise to the challenges of each season, we remain dynamic even if , with each cycle, we become a little less limber, a little more easily fatigued, and a lot more pained.

Trying to break the pattern..

It's happening again. I start a blog and after only a few entries I abandon it. So I'm making a point of reflecting tonight in an effort to establish a new pattern.

My original intention was to create a record of my 63rd year of life ; trying to relate how it 'feels.' well, I've come to the realization that I cannot do otherwise. It is my life, my experiences, and my feelings. And since I am now 63, they would only be the feelings of a 63 yr. old woman, nothing more, nothing less.

If you don't follow my dughter's blog, you should. Yesterday was her middle child's fifth birthday. She has been reliving the birth experience. It has been eye-opening for me. I was there but my memories are different from her's.

God was so ready for those events. He made the way smooth for me to retire from teaching in Feb.,2002. I retired on disability but retiring was the best medicine in the world. When Shawn's water broke in the beginning of her second trimester, I was able to move to Asheville for as long as I was needed. I lived at their home with Bookie(who was 2 at the time) and my son-in-law.; Shawn was in the hospital for 6 weeks.

Bookie and I slept on the mattress from the sleep sofa on the living room floor. Shawn had put up the Christmas lights in the windows and started decorating their little "Charlie Brown" tree. Each night, I sang Bookie to sleep by the glow of those lights. She slept hugging my upper arm. Those were some of the most peaceful nights of my life.

Not everything was peaceful. As a smoker, it was a strain not being able to relax with a cigarette for 3 weeks. Oh, I got in cigarettes; I would get Bookie to sleep and then go out on the front porch to smoke; first thing in the morning before she awoke, I'd be back on the porch. Each day, her DaDa took her to the hospital to visit Mommy. Then I'd go to hospital in my car, he'd go to work, and I'd bring Bookie back home. I could smoke in my car on way to hospital. None of those were really enjoyable, relaxing smokes.

Two days before Christmas, I went to the lake in SC for a couple of days alone. Those were really relaxing. On the way back to Asheville on Christmas morning, the engine on my car blew up. I was stranded on the Interstate until a tow truck came and got me and the car. It was in the shop for almost a month.

Then came the birth of our baby. She was so tiny. I didn't get to hold her until they moved her into the progressive care section of the NICU. She had an I.V. in the top of her head. I was so afraid I would hurt her.

These are my memories of Dec. 2004 and half of January, 2005. Memories of a grandmother.

This is what happens with journaling..I write a day and skip too many to have any flow. So this will be a blog about my rambling thoughts.

Went to two Christmas parties yesterday. The first was for the children of our church. The only children who came were my daughter's 3 but we had a grand time. We made Christingles, which are a symbolic presentation about Christ. An orange to represent the world, a red ribbon around the orange to show Christ's blood surrounding all the people in the world, 4 skewers placed 1 on each quadrant of the orange, representing the four seasons, candy secured to the orange by these skewers showing the blessings we are granted with each season. A candle is embedded into the top of the orange as a symbol of Christ as the light to the world, and, finally, aluminum foil to remind us that we are to reflect Christ's love.

Next we made Christmas cards. These will be mailed to our members in the military. Our last mission project was to assemble gift baskets for 4 church members who are unable to attend services due to health problems; our shut-ins. We filled the baskets with fruit, candies, and packages of hot chocolate and cider. We included a Christingle and one of the cards we made.

I was "in charge" of the card making station and it was so wonderful working with my girls; and that means Michelle(our pastor), Shawn (my daughter), and the 2 granddaughters. The little ones did a great job- creative juices flowing.

The second party was in complete contrast to the first. That one was an "adult" party with "adult" beverages. The bluegrass crowd has parties all year long , thrown by the individuals. Last night's was at Everett's, our banjo player. My sister and I got there a little late, so most of the supper type foods were gone or down to the last bits. I nibbled a little on chicken tenders and cranberry salad, but that was about it. But I did drink. Too much, as it turned out. I like a buzz that makes me happy, loving towards all present, and a little less inhibited. Last night, I was all of those plus very uncoordinated when I tied to walk. My friends in that group are so caring and they really love me. So,even though I was actually drunk, I was among people who would never take advantage of that. In fact, Steve helped me walk to the van. My balance is not good on my best days so last night was... well, let me put it this way..I could have made it to the van unassisted, but it would have taken so many more steps. Of course, Betty was my designated driver.

I used to party quite often when I was younger. The purpose of those parties was pretty much just getting drunk; or as close to drunk as you could get and still be able to drive home. I don't think designated drivers were even a concept back then. We never considered not drinking in order to drive home. You always just hoped one of you would be able to pull off driving without getting stopped by the police. So much smarter today; couples actually negotiate which one will not drink for that evening. I don't drink and drive.

A Beginning

Today, I enter the world of blogging. I suppose this is the same as journalling. I get to ramble on and on. You see, I'm ADD with a lot of passion so I get really excited about a thought, which quickly leads to another thought, and that reminds me of something else. Get the idea?

My daughter is a natural at blogging. She's a deep thinker trying to live a simple life in today's rapidly paced world. Wow, that sounds stressful to me.

Speaking of me, I'm about 2 weeks away from my 63rd birthday and trying to age gracefully. I'm doing so gratefully, that's for sure. What's it they say, "It's no fun getting old, but it beats the alternative." But gracefully... I don't know exactly what that means. I suppose that's what I'll learn about with each passing day.

If you're not old enough to have had this realization on your own, I can assure you it is amazing how the aging of your mind does not coincide with the aging of your body. I used to say that your mind doesn't age, but that isn't exactly true. I can tell some difference between how my thought processes work now as compared to the way they did in my 'youth'. Some of my likes and dislikes have changed ( but ,then again, they always have and rather rapidly) and my perspective has changed, but too often I 'feel' the same as I did many years ago.

So, as I progress through this process of 'getting old' ,I invite you to travel with me and maybe have a giggle or two at my take on the experience.