Dellava - Diet, Fitness and Weight Loss Community at eDiets

Dellava - Diet, Fitness and Weight Loss Community at eDiets: I'm starting a new adventure today. I have been trying to get myself back on a healthy eating plan to get my weight and blood glucose readings back in order. It hasn't been working. Every since my son's death on July 5, I have not cooked a complete meal at home. I don't know how to cook for 1 unless it's my eDiet meal plan.

A few years back, I belonged to eDiets and joined the "Life Odessey" group. The challenge of that group was just what I needed. I lost 35 lbs. in 2 months and reduced clothing size, even down to the underwear. Well, I started having more physical problems (gout, shingles, pneumonia, etc.) and jumped ship.

I didn't stay on any plan and have gained all but 4 lb. of my 35 back. I have been very inactive and my Hemoglobin A1C has been bouncing up, down, and uo to my current high of 10.7.

So, earlier tonight(actually last night since it's now 5:30 am of the morning after I started this.) I went to eDiets again, signed up for a full year, and printed out my first week meal plans and shopping list.

I have to find a community, group, or at least some friends to keep me challenged and accountable. Life Odessey group is private now, so guess I'm OL on LO.

Guess this is turning into a monthly blog; but since months fly by at about one per week, I guess that's a speed I can maintain.

I've been thinking about seasons and renewal. Now if we go to meteorological seasons ( or astrological if that's your slant), we're currently trapped in winter. We're having a lot of snow this winter of 2010. I'll take all the blame for that. It's totally my fault. I've been begging, praying, dreaming, and wishing for snow for years. We've been cheated out of a really good snowfall for a long time. I wanted to romp in the snow, slide down the hill, plop down and make snow angels.

The problem is, it took so long for the snow to get here I've allowed myself to get out of shape and I can't play in it.

So I make attempts to get in shape. I order new workout videos.; print out oodles of diabetic friendly recipes with the knowledge that a new season is coming. Spring- with a different set of challenges that I want to rise to meet.

Seasons are about change and renewal; new starts over and over. Trees will take on that lovely tender green of new leaves; a green that will deeper, grow more substantial at just the right time. We'll need their shade as the Earth moves into position so that the Sun sends her rays at us more directly. Later, the tree's life cycle will cause the chemicals to create the beautiful colors just before they fall again so that the weaker Sun's rays will be able to get through the bare limbs. We, too, come alive in the spring, ooze hesitantly out of our houses, strengthen as the days grow longer.

Seasons can make us better at being who we are. As we determine to rise to the challenges of each season, we remain dynamic even if , with each cycle, we become a little less limber, a little more easily fatigued, and a lot more pained.

Trying to break the pattern..

It's happening again. I start a blog and after only a few entries I abandon it. So I'm making a point of reflecting tonight in an effort to establish a new pattern.

My original intention was to create a record of my 63rd year of life ; trying to relate how it 'feels.' well, I've come to the realization that I cannot do otherwise. It is my life, my experiences, and my feelings. And since I am now 63, they would only be the feelings of a 63 yr. old woman, nothing more, nothing less.

If you don't follow my dughter's blog, you should. Yesterday was her middle child's fifth birthday. She has been reliving the birth experience. It has been eye-opening for me. I was there but my memories are different from her's.

God was so ready for those events. He made the way smooth for me to retire from teaching in Feb.,2002. I retired on disability but retiring was the best medicine in the world. When Shawn's water broke in the beginning of her second trimester, I was able to move to Asheville for as long as I was needed. I lived at their home with Bookie(who was 2 at the time) and my son-in-law.; Shawn was in the hospital for 6 weeks.

Bookie and I slept on the mattress from the sleep sofa on the living room floor. Shawn had put up the Christmas lights in the windows and started decorating their little "Charlie Brown" tree. Each night, I sang Bookie to sleep by the glow of those lights. She slept hugging my upper arm. Those were some of the most peaceful nights of my life.

Not everything was peaceful. As a smoker, it was a strain not being able to relax with a cigarette for 3 weeks. Oh, I got in cigarettes; I would get Bookie to sleep and then go out on the front porch to smoke; first thing in the morning before she awoke, I'd be back on the porch. Each day, her DaDa took her to the hospital to visit Mommy. Then I'd go to hospital in my car, he'd go to work, and I'd bring Bookie back home. I could smoke in my car on way to hospital. None of those were really enjoyable, relaxing smokes.

Two days before Christmas, I went to the lake in SC for a couple of days alone. Those were really relaxing. On the way back to Asheville on Christmas morning, the engine on my car blew up. I was stranded on the Interstate until a tow truck came and got me and the car. It was in the shop for almost a month.

Then came the birth of our baby. She was so tiny. I didn't get to hold her until they moved her into the progressive care section of the NICU. She had an I.V. in the top of her head. I was so afraid I would hurt her.

These are my memories of Dec. 2004 and half of January, 2005. Memories of a grandmother.